Until I stop playing DND (retro)

You people are amazing. I don't post any updates for two days and I receive emails complaining about there not being any new content. Well I don't have anything new for you today. I do however have as many of the old updates as could be recovered. Unfortunately the first two weeks have been lost. Lost forever. Lost until I stop playing DND.

There basement is getting closer to completion. Next Wednesday we will be building the history of The Infamous Packzi.

Quote of the Day:

• I'm sorry, nothing works on Spiderman.

Who said it? Suzi the ticket girl.

POTWYM (retro)

Its time for a new person of the week. This week we honor your mom. There are many reasons why your mom should be considered person of the week. I'm not going to list any of them. Happy Mother's Day.

Quote of the Day:

• It was easy. I told 'em I was you, I acted real stupid and they believed me.

Who said it? Ray Barboni (Dennis Farina) - Get Shorty

64 things (retro)

As a womanizer John Randolph is expected to apologize a lot. One thing that people don't realize is that being a womanizer gives you a special privilege. You are required to do a lot of the things people think you should apologize for. You loose your membership card and in John Randolph's case his job if he doesn't do many of the things you think he should have to apologize for. Because there is a lot of confusion regarding what womanizers like John do and don't have to apologize for we have constructed a list. This list is not to be considered complete and all encompassing in any way. It is the sixty-four things that first come to mind when this topic is brought up. Take a moment to look at it.

Sixty-Four things that John Randolph does not have to apologize for:

1. Anything
2. Caring about his hair too much
3. Constantly claiming people are checking him out
4. Smelling her panties
5. Making her pay for dinner
6. Constantly checking himself out
7. Stealing her panties
8. Fabricating stories to enhance his sexual image
9. Making her sleep in the wet spot
10. Always talking like James Bond
11. Smelling like cigar smoke and cheap whisky
12. Pinching his waitress' ass
13. Leaving the seat up
14. Claiming he doesn't know what happened to her panties
15. Your mother
16. Knowing all the strippers by name
17. Showing up at work drunk
18. Playing Final Fantasy 8 or Diablo all day instead of going to work
19. Making infomercials about losing weight by going to strip clubs
20. Writing hate-mail to Betty Crocker
21. Running around as Superman, wearing nothing but jeans as a cape
22. Stealing a Jigglypuff toy from a bastard child
23. Making the Neil Cap into a hat using duct tape and then putting it on Sonata
24. Shaving his scrotum
25. Putting his balls on Larry’s wood
26. Dumping girls for stupid reasons
27. Hiding Scare Bob behind the couch
28. Being concerned about Sonata’s shaved stomach
29. Making a duct tape cape and putting it on Sonata
30. Stealing other people’s girlfriends
31. Putting out on the first date
32. Forwarding e-mail
33. Making his crotch look big
34. Drawing a Precious Moments dwarf looking around a corner
35. Having amazing artistic talent
36. Eating all the food in your house
37. Videotaping himself saying that he will eat all the food in your house
38. Being shirtless
39. Passing gas and then ‘throwing’ it in your direction
40. Making this list
41. Burping and then blowing it in your direction
42. Using clichés
43. The sunshine on his shoulders
44. Knowing the words to most disco songs including “It’s Raining Men”
45. Letting his friends put his roommate’s Transformers into sexual positions
46. Being drunk and stoned for 36 hours
47. Saying "God gave you a hand didn't He?" when she complains about her neck hurting
48. Reminding her she has another hand when she complains of the first one being tired
49. Suggesting her neck should be feeling better right about now
50. Waking downtown in a doorway across from a bum who is drinking his rum
51. Covering a friend’s car with T.P. and shaving cream at his wedding
52. Always having a story
53. Bringing floozies to weddings or anyplace for that matter
54. Peeing on Steve’s dorm room floor
55. Earning the nickname “Touchy Feely Guy”
56. Regularly using the phrase “If I don’t remember it, it never happened”
57. Helping Luke “the Juke Box” Robitel in crazy schemes
58. Getting drunk and lost in Lansing every year
59. Sleeping in the house of some girl he found peeing behind a dumpster
60. Eating enough Easy Cheese to get cancer
61. Saying she like the fucking country dog man and meaning it as a compliment
62. Not contacting his girl on Valentine’s Day so he can play DnD
63. Dating Sara Rhodie for her 56” TV and DVD setup
64. The number 64
    

Quote of the Day:

• Have you heard the superman story yet?

Who said it? Anyone who has been to a party with Ted and has heard the superman story.

OJs Bronco, the name (retro)

After talking it over the band has decided to call themselves 'OJ's Bronco' The deciding factors were that it tied for first on the poll. OJ's Bronco has much marketing potential. Perhaps the greatest factor was a quote from one of the comments of a poll participant. "I feel 'OJ's Bronco' would be an awesome name for a band. It really defines our generation and puts everything in perspective for me."

Look, that DJ is feeding his face again.

It's that time again. Time to honor a new Person of the Week. This week we honor Matt Holwerda. Now, none of us actually knew Mr. Holwerda before last night, however we know his daughter and new son-in-law quite well. We salute you Mr. Holwerda for the free food and drink and the wonderful time had by all at your daughter's wedding. Also, for bringing together three former people of the week in one building... Jessica, Ted, and the artist formerly known as Luke Robitel.

Quote of the Day:

• If you want me off this ship, you're going to have to pry it from my cold dead hands.

Who said it? Matt Hooton in regards to his Carnival Cruise experience.

Poll Results (retro)

The results of our two polls have been calculated. Seventy-Eight percent of you said you did not like hearing from a former significant other. This makes me feel better. It confirms that I am not alone in my thinking. Not only am I not alone but I am part of the majority. If you'd like to see the results of the poll click here.

Regarding band names. We have a tie. 'OJ's Bronco' and 'Sock Monkeys on Crack' have both received thirty-three percent of the vote. The band is going to take this information and use it in their final decision as to what the band name should be. Your input is greatly appreciated. If you'd like to see the results of the poll click here.

Quote of the Day:

• My antics will drive them insane long before they can ritualistically terrorize me.

Who said it? Señor Robitel

Filled with hate (retro)

Maybe I'm just funny, but I have been pissed off twice in the last two weeks by two different people with which I have had an intimate relationship. For some reason these girls thought that I would like to talk to them and in doing so get reacquainted with them. They both ironically were the two other halves in the two worst relationships I have ever had in my life ever. Both girls should be fully aware of the fact that they hurt me in ways that until it happened I didn't know you could hurt someone.

I'm just amazed by these two. One happens to come into my place of employment and recognizes me then upon returning home calls and tells me I should call her and we should get together sometime and here's my phone number....... The other sends me an email telling me how she saw the website and how much she misses the old times and how much fun we had in the basement and how sorry she is (which was nice to hear I might add) and how she wants to know how everything is going.....

With that said and much of the built up aggression released from inside me I ask all of you a quick question. As stated moments ago I may just be funny but I have a feeling I'm not alone on this. Take a quick second to answer the question below. (The question has been removed.)

Quote of the Day:

• A true friend stabs you in the front.

Who said it? Oscar Wilde

Wonderful news (retro)

We have wonderful news. The Movie Review page and the It Came From the Basement page have both almost reach completion. Tomorrow evening or early Tuesday morning they will be available for your viewing pleasure. Juke has been working day and night (well mostly just night as he sleeps all day) to make this upgrade possible. I've been shown the rough draft for both sections and they're amazing. I've even heard rumors that Juke has been given offers by web design companies. A lot of the content is still incomplete. At this point we are almost ready to put our efforts into adding content. We have been concentrated on finishing their home. It will be outstanding.

Backbreaker!

We have a new Person of the Week. Vanessa Allen is another fan of our site. She visits at least once a day. In her spare time she enjoys posting flyers for 64tacos around the University of Nebraska campus. Her dedication and willingness to help spread the word of 64tacos has earned her this prestigious award.

Some of you may have noticed that the last couple People of the Week have been getting eight days. This is just to recalibrate so the week will actually start on a Sunday for each person.

Indestructible!

Another improvement is that past news updates will be located on their own pages. There will be a week's worth of updates located in the bar on the left. As the week passes, on updates older than a week will be removed and lost forever. Make sure you check often so as to not miss a beat.

No pain, no gain!

John Randolph is back from his suspension. It's been a hectic week without him so it's good to have him back.

Is it dead yet?

As part of our ongoing improvement Video Game Corner has been taken off for a short period of time. It will be re-released once the basement page has been completed.

Well, I don't know what to tell you other than your computer may be having technical difficulties.

Here's your Quote of the Day

• Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

Who said it? Steven Wright