Sonic Boom

Jaime, Dan and I went to the Sonic today. It was great. Wed seen the commercials all the time since moving to Phoenix but never went. Dan wasnt very enthusiastic about it because he had gotten Sonic before. The problem was that he had only gotten Sonic, he didnt GO TO Sonic. See, Sonic dubs themselves as "Americas Drive In". Sure theres a drive thru for losers who just want fast food to bring home to their fat kids but the real patrons sit there and eat. You pull up to one of the dozens of menu boards and when youre ready to order you press the big red button. The girl comes on in what can only be described as "drive thru stereo" and you tell her what you want. Then a different girl comes out on roller skates and brings your food right to the car.  Most importantly, you get to have clever conversations with your friends in your car while eating the food just like in the commercials.

Surf and Turf

I love the grilling. I love the swimming. Well, lucky me, theres a grill right near the pool at our apartments. We grilled up some butterfly cut pork chops and corn on the cob this evening. While it was cooking we went for a dip. Its been kinda cool (in the low 100s) all week and there was a garden hose filling the pool with cold water so it was nice and refreshing. We worked up an appetite and then ate a delicious dinner.

The Long Trip Home

On my way home from work a group of boys (3) was crossing the parking lot and crossed my path. It caused me to have to alter my course a little bit. I didnt have to slow down but I did have to turn to avoid hitting them. After I passed them, the youngest boy yelled at me.

Why dont you watch where youre going?!

Keep in mind that they got in my way. I stopped and turned around.

Are you serious?

The boy (who was all of 5 feet tall) cocked his head, raised his arms and puffed his chest at me. So I turned around and confronted him.

Whatcha gonna do old man?
Where are your parents?
Why?
Because Im going to call the Humane Society to have your mother spayed and your father put down. Then Im going to kick some respect into your little bitch ass.

Seeing fear in his eyes and, more importantly, the security golf cart making its rounds, I got back on my bike and went home.

Most of this story is not true.

California Dreamin

Some kid starting yelling "Hi dad!" at me as I was riding home from work today. He was about 100 yards away across one of the parks I cut through. He kept yelling and yelling. For fun I decided to go over and see what his problem was.

As I approached it appeared that the boy and his 2 friends were in their early teens. The fat one (my "son") continued his mantra while the other 2 boys giggled like school girls. This continued until I got right up to them. This is the discussion that followed.

Why are you yelling hi dad at me?
Because youre my dad. (Giggle giggle)
Im not your dad. Youre too ugly to be my son.
(Silence)
Beside, if you were my son you wouldnt be standing in the middle of a field yelling at random passers buy just to get attention. You simply wouldnt be that desperate. So why are you so desperate? Dont your parents pay any attention to you? Did your dad leave you and your mom when you were little? Or perhaps he pays.. too much attention to you. When your dads been drinking are you  daddys "special boy?"

The boy was nearly in tears by this point.

So whats your name kid?
Craig.
Craig, stop making an ass out of yourself.

I got on my bike and  went home.

Most of this story isnt true.

The Great Skate

I was hanging out at a skating rink today while a bunch of elementry school kids were skating. I was tired and my ankles hurt so I had taken off my skates and put my shoes on. A little girl and her sister fell right in front of me. The older one appologized because they almost fell on me. I didnt say anything. She then said she liked my skates. Slightly annoyed by the child I grabbed the skate and threw it at her and asked her how she liked it now. I left shortly after that.

Most of this story is true.

Asleep in Perfect Blue Buildings

We packed the family into the Man Scorpion yesterday and headed down to Tucson. It was a tight fit, but we made it with only minor scratches and bruses. We helped the gang from the South finish their big move. When the moving was done we went to see The Departed (Watch it!) and got some delicious pizza at Mammas.

On Friday I got the call from Sears. My background check and drug test results are back and I passed both. Im going to bring my tools up today and start Monday.

I wanted to see you walking away from me

I was mounting and balancing 4 tires for a used car at work yesterday. Jon was giving me a hand because the tires were 40 series. Breadstick came over and this conversation (or something very close to it) followed:

Breadstick: Dont ever pee on a woman.
Me: What?
Breadstick: Dont ever pee on a woman.
Me: What if shes been stung by a jelly fish?
Breadstick: What?
Me: A jelly fish. What if shes been stung by a jelly fish?
Breadstick: What does that have to do with it.
Me: Urin neutralizes the poison.
Breadstick: Who knows that?
Me: Everyone knows that. Dont you watch friends?
Breadstick: What?
Me: Friends. You know Joey peed on Monica because she had been stung by a jelly fish. Ask Jon, he knows.
Jon gives a knowing nodd.