Friday, April 01, 2005
Thursday, March 31, 2005
What else should I be, All apologies
I went to the local supermarket* earlier today. With my three items in hand I proceeded to the checkout only to find that I must "U Scan" or go through one of the large order lanes. I would have preferred human interaction in this case because I had vegetables and a bottle return slip. The hassle that they bring to the U Scan lanes is unparalleled. Still I decided that it would be faster to deal with these things myself than to wait in the big lanes.
One of the U scans was being used by a woman who was trying to buy flowers that didnt have a tag on them. In order to ring them up the cashier was trying to contact the garden center. If youve ever been in this shit hole you know well that it is impossible to contact anyone in any department.
The second U scan was taken out of commission buy a set of foreigners who were having trouble scanning their vegetables. (The fate I saw in my near future.) They were also having trouble with the concept of keeping all the items that they had scanned on the scale until the completion of the transaction. When not busy trying to contact the garden center the cashier would queer his way over to the foreigners and angrily point at signs that said (written in English) to keep items on the scale.
The third U scan appeared to be unable to give the current customer his change. I felt this because it said "See cashier for change". As we all know by now the cashier has no time for such things and makes it very clear to the customer that he will be waiting at least 5 minutes for his change because hes too busy with other things.
The fourth and last U scan lane. My only hope. There was only one person in front of me and they quickly scanned their way out of there. I scan my first item. Success! Now for the onion. I place it on the weigher and search for the code. Jumbo White Onion: 4663. Success! Now for the Zucchini. Wait what the fuck. "Please keep all scanned items on the scale until transaction is completed." Why would I be getting this message? I didnt move anything. Had the foreigners snuck over and taken my fishing line out of the bag? Did the cashier start having butt sex on my scale? No, it was another incapable employee. One who decided to stock the end cap next to my U scan. Where did she decided to put the box of new stock? On my scale. When I asked her what she was doing, she looked at me like I was some kind of asshole. Now I am an asshole, but she doesnt know that. I proceeded to tell her that I was busy checking out and her box was destroying any hopes of completing that task that I had. She then took her box off and all but told me I was ruining her ability to live a happy life. Now where was I? Ah yes, zucchini. Wait, what? There is no zucchini on this vegetable code chart. Damn you U scan! I have a zucchini here and I dont know how to ring it in. I looked over the chart again, a little more carefully this time. The chart is alphabetized and one would think that zucchini would be near the end. In reality (or this altered reality that I seem to have been in) zucchini can be found under "Squash (zucchini)" code 4067.
With that done it was time to give money. When prompted I told the machine that I had a bottle slip. It then told me that I was to give the bottle slip the cashier. Oh hell no. I realized at this time that I was never going to leave. The foreigners were still trying to figure out how to weigh their carrots, the woman with the flowers had still not heard back from the garden center and the man (a foreigner too keep in mind) whose machine could not make change was still waiting. Quietly I walk up to the cashier stand and hold out my bottle return slip. The cashier then walks away saying nothing. Not suppressed I wait. He returns and takes my slip. He has not helped the man with no change yet. He has not helped the computer illiterate foreigners. He has not helped the woman with the flowers. Why was I helped. Was it because I was white like him. Was it because I was a man like him. Was it because he thought I would let him perform fellatio on me. I dont know which it was but it got me one step closer to leaving that hell hole.
With only the obligation of paying I took a twenty out of my wallet, attempted to insert it into the machine. It wouldnt take. This was one of the old style twenties. Apparently U scan is not comfortable accepting those. I took another twenty out and it accepted it just fine. I took my change and left, now a free man.
*The International Meijers
**I dont hate them because theyre women, gay or from another country. I hate them because I hate all of gods creatures. I am filled with hate.
One of the U scans was being used by a woman who was trying to buy flowers that didnt have a tag on them. In order to ring them up the cashier was trying to contact the garden center. If youve ever been in this shit hole you know well that it is impossible to contact anyone in any department.
The second U scan was taken out of commission buy a set of foreigners who were having trouble scanning their vegetables. (The fate I saw in my near future.) They were also having trouble with the concept of keeping all the items that they had scanned on the scale until the completion of the transaction. When not busy trying to contact the garden center the cashier would queer his way over to the foreigners and angrily point at signs that said (written in English) to keep items on the scale.
The third U scan appeared to be unable to give the current customer his change. I felt this because it said "See cashier for change". As we all know by now the cashier has no time for such things and makes it very clear to the customer that he will be waiting at least 5 minutes for his change because hes too busy with other things.
The fourth and last U scan lane. My only hope. There was only one person in front of me and they quickly scanned their way out of there. I scan my first item. Success! Now for the onion. I place it on the weigher and search for the code. Jumbo White Onion: 4663. Success! Now for the Zucchini. Wait what the fuck. "Please keep all scanned items on the scale until transaction is completed." Why would I be getting this message? I didnt move anything. Had the foreigners snuck over and taken my fishing line out of the bag? Did the cashier start having butt sex on my scale? No, it was another incapable employee. One who decided to stock the end cap next to my U scan. Where did she decided to put the box of new stock? On my scale. When I asked her what she was doing, she looked at me like I was some kind of asshole. Now I am an asshole, but she doesnt know that. I proceeded to tell her that I was busy checking out and her box was destroying any hopes of completing that task that I had. She then took her box off and all but told me I was ruining her ability to live a happy life. Now where was I? Ah yes, zucchini. Wait, what? There is no zucchini on this vegetable code chart. Damn you U scan! I have a zucchini here and I dont know how to ring it in. I looked over the chart again, a little more carefully this time. The chart is alphabetized and one would think that zucchini would be near the end. In reality (or this altered reality that I seem to have been in) zucchini can be found under "Squash (zucchini)" code 4067.
With that done it was time to give money. When prompted I told the machine that I had a bottle slip. It then told me that I was to give the bottle slip the cashier. Oh hell no. I realized at this time that I was never going to leave. The foreigners were still trying to figure out how to weigh their carrots, the woman with the flowers had still not heard back from the garden center and the man (a foreigner too keep in mind) whose machine could not make change was still waiting. Quietly I walk up to the cashier stand and hold out my bottle return slip. The cashier then walks away saying nothing. Not suppressed I wait. He returns and takes my slip. He has not helped the man with no change yet. He has not helped the computer illiterate foreigners. He has not helped the woman with the flowers. Why was I helped. Was it because I was white like him. Was it because I was a man like him. Was it because he thought I would let him perform fellatio on me. I dont know which it was but it got me one step closer to leaving that hell hole.
With only the obligation of paying I took a twenty out of my wallet, attempted to insert it into the machine. It wouldnt take. This was one of the old style twenties. Apparently U scan is not comfortable accepting those. I took another twenty out and it accepted it just fine. I took my change and left, now a free man.
*The International Meijers
**I dont hate them because theyre women, gay or from another country. I hate them because I hate all of gods creatures. I am filled with hate.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
I dont sleep, I dream
I added those google adds to the sidebar of this here blog. I didnt do it for the money, rather to see how their bots interpret my ramblings into services and products that people might want.
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Highway Fox
As you may or may not have noticed Im changing the look again. Im working my way back to the old "flame" days of 64tacos. Back when more than just me and the 3 people I see everyday anyway went to the site.
Monday, March 28, 2005
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