Merry Triple X Mas

We were visited by the red man from the south the other day. He came bearing gifts from his imigrant wife. And glorious gifts they are.

Tonight I took a nice hot bath and used my gift. I completely exfoliated my feet with the glorious pumice stone that was given to me. No I didnt light candles* and put bubbles** in the tub. I didnt paint my nails** either. I simply removed all the dry cracked skin and now have silky smooth feet.

You girls know what Im talking about. (Sexist) Its not easy being on your feet wearing the tight leather boot all day. It takes its toll and sometimes you need to take care of business. Theres nothing like a good pumce stone and some Dr Scholls For Her Cracked Skin Repair Cream.

Baby Jesus may have gotten gold, frankincence and myrrh for xmas but I got what I really needed, and Im greatful for that.

* I didnt think to get candles until after I had gotten in the tub.
** Jaime would kill me if I used her bubbles and nail polish.

Im Bringing Sexy Back

I fixed a tire on a Corolla yesterday at work. Or so I thought. I wont bore you with the details, heres the gist of it. I fixed a leak, put the tire on, pulled the car out, the customer came to get the car, most of the air was out of the tire, pull the car back in and fixed it for real.

Needless to say, this customer was a little concerned that her tire was still going to go flat. Apparently, the day before she brought it to a different Sears and they "fixed" the tire, much like I did the first time. She was affraid that the tire was unrepairable. That shes was going to wake up in the morning and have no way to get to work. "What gauruntee do I have that this wont happen again?" she asks me. I explained why the tire wasnt repaired properly the first 2 times but that wasnt enough for her. She was worried and there wasnt much that was going to calm that.

Logic wasnt working so it was time to pull out a trick I havnt used in many many years. I said "I promise that your tire will not go flat tonight and youll be able to go to work tomorrow" and then gave her the smile that allows women to believe that there is no way that I could lie to them. Some of you know that smile. (Neil) I feel a little guilty using this ability on something as trivial as a flat tire, but I know she didnt lose any sleep over a flat tire last nig

My Five