"What Are Those Wierd Sounds?"

After a beautiful fight about audio archiving DnD the playing got started. Everything was going along swimmingly. Eddy L had his Jack and Popsi. Ugly Kid was arguing with Shedu in PC/NPC format. I was playing some Spider on the laptop. Shedu had the old iTunes shuffling through his oversized database of mp3 files. Suddenly everything stopped. Everything includes the DnD, the hint of anger lingering in the room and the ability to understand what any of us are doing in the world. Thats right... Esters Song came up next on shuffle. And so began the Turtle Dream.

Its been said that minimalism is a good thing. If kept in small doses. Well if thats true then why am I compelled to erase every audio file on my computer and burn every compact disc I have and replace it with every Meredith Monk album ever recorded? OooooooorrrhhhEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. OooooooorrrhhhEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. OooooooorrrhhhEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. And since I cant do that (my wife would kill me if I burned her Cheryl Crow albums) does that mean that we have to start a minimalist band? And if so how do you do that? Can you have a “band” and still be minimalists? What if your band accidentally had too many people in it? More than the minimum. What if, what if, what if, what if, what if I?

By The Time Your Children Are Fit To Live With Their Living With Someone Else

Gimme some sugar baby.

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Was It 4 Centuries Or For Centuries As Neil Would Put It?

Sorry but Ive been sitting on this one for a couple days now and have to say it. Recent measurements indicate that Shedubeards wife is dilated to 2 meters.

Once, Twice, 3 Times A Lady

About 73 minutes ago I IMd Shedubeard to see what was up. He immediately responded “hang on”. When someone tells me to “hang on” I interpret that as “hey, Ive gotta do something really quick but I should be back in a couple minutes.” Unfortunately theres no telling what most of my friends actually mean…

The ugly kid… Well I dont want to address his time management system right now. Perhaps another time.

The Jew has been know to “power get ready”. What this means is that when we called him an hour after he was supposed to show up we woke him up. This is when the power get ready starts. Step 1: Go back to sleep for 2 hours. Step 2: Get woken up by your friends again. Step 3: Take 30 minutes doing your hair. Step 4: Show up more than 4 hours late.

2fer Tuesday

The Roper called me this morning as I was getting ready to go to The Village. He asked if I could come in and drive. Hes not to bright because I was already scheduled to serve. He said that was ok, he needed a driver.

So I go in as a driver, doing them yet another favor, and its the same old shit. No appreciation what so ever. Fine. I dont do it to be praised. I dont expect them to erect any statures in my honor because I cover shifts for them ALL THE TIME. Im a big boy and have plenty of self confidence. I know Im one of the best workers there and everyone else knows it too.

Heres what really kills me about The Roper. It seems that hes at odds with you no mater the situation. Like today, he took the order for the only delivery of the afternoon. It had most of the information but it didnt have a business name. I asked him if he knew what the business name was and he said know. I said that its very helpful to have business names because sometimes the address isnt visible from the road. Then he proceeded to say “well I got the suit number. What more do you want? Do you want me to get their nationality? Or how about their eye color? I didnt say anything. One thing I told myself when I left Hells Pizza is that its not worth arguing with stupid people. Unfortunately not putting up a fight is compelling me to simply punch people.

Later in the day I over heard The Roper say; “It wouldnt be the first time someone stabbed me with a knife and it probably wouldnt be the last either.” If you only knew fat man.

1 Is The Loneliest Number

Wow, give me a yarmulke and call me hairy, I have not been on the Blogger lately. Here we go... As a member of the Costco Nation you are expected to make some sacrifices in the name of good value. They carry most products but not every brand. When there isnt a name brand product youre stuck with the Kirkland Signature. More often than not this is not a problem. The yogurt however is not suitable for consumption. If it wasnt for the fact that you refrigerate yogurt, it would be said that it resembles a burst of hot cum forcing its way down your throat. At first I thought it was just the blueberry ones. Im not a big fan of blueberry yogurt. It turns out that the strawberry is the same. Boo Kirkland Signature yogurt!