You get me closer to god

Like the Jew I have decided to take up work as a monkey. I just heard that they accepted my application and go in to fill out paperwork in a couple hours. Ill be staying at my other shitty job because the monkey business doesnt pay very well for unskilled monkeys and I do need to pay my bills. Im one step closer though.

The priests came up to me all up in arms

Here are the keys to a successful liquidation.

1. Look at the current sales trends. If people are currently buying the product then having a liquidation is a good way to go. Examples of things people buy: DVDs, Faygo, Canadian prescription Medication.
2. If people are steeling it or getting it free on the internet then you probably shouldnt have a liquidation sale. Examples of things people dont buy: Music, Software, Canadian Porn.

Keep these two things in mind and all your future Bonni trunk Liquidation sales will be a success.

Shit all over the DM seat

With Labor Day past it is officially X-Mas season. To help get everyone in the mood Ive begun my wish list. You may look at it and say thats only about $800-$900 worth of goods. Dont worry thats just the start. Ill clear $2000 worth of wishes by the time Im done I promise. This isnt because Im a selfish person. (That is displayed by other actions.) Its so that my wife can enjoy the holiday. She hates it when I know what each and every present is. I figure the only way to avoid this is to ask for such a ridiculous amount of stuff that theres no way Ill get all of it.