Hoodwinked

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Syriana

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Retards Gone (to the) Wild

Ive recreated this post for those of you who couldnt understand it because you dont speak white girl.

Chapter 1 – On the First Day

Once upon a time, there was a boy who Will will call Retard. However, Will is not telling this story; I am, so our hero will be known as, The Ugly Kid and this is his Hollywood True Story.

The much anticipated camping trip was upon them. The Taconians packed their packables, and traveled the travel. Arriving in the middle of No-Where (just South of North No-Where and East of West No-Where) everyone began doing what they did best. Stemshul spilled food while attempting to eat it. Whitey used all the ketchup. Katohater stood tall and red, surprisingly unrestricted by the child size large batman costume he brought as his only form of clothing.

The Ugly Kid has a buddy named Derrek. Derrek was a swell guy who kept mostly to himself. He laughed at good jokes, ate good food and drank when the moment seemed right. On this occasion that moment was immediately after he stepped out of the car. This made him happy, and ready to chop wood. The Ugly Kid joined his buddy Derrek. Before doing so the necessary precautions needed to be taken. He donned his studly mesh hat, no toed sandals and the essential racquetball safety goggles. Now properly equipped they double teamed the wood like a pair of homosexual chipmunks.

Passers by looked on in horror at the carnage that was put on display. Strangely, of the other campers, noone noticed that was going on. Perhaps theyve been desensitized by the lives of mayhem and madness that they lead. They anger easily and kill everything in their sight whether its wood, glass, metal, babies or each other. Nothing is safe. Not even the safety goggles.