The pigs have won tonight

If you didnt know already (you know who you are), Im going to be out of town for the next couple days. Were leaving tomorrow morning and coming back Sunday night. Were not really sure exactly where were going but it wont be here.

Another thing. If you had any doubts, be confident in knowing that my boss is a lazy fat man.

PWNED

Pure Insanity: Take 2

I told you I unsubscribed to all that spam right. Well in my search for all the links I found that one company always had this message, or one very similar to it, in extremely small (were talkin 1pt here) print at the bottom of all their spamessages.

Did you know that ballroom dancers hunger for English students? Bugs absolutely, positively hate the sheep. Slime balls wish to please the male chauvinist pigs. Fools torture bugs. Monks laugh it up with panthers. Wives gaze wistfully at television personalities. Of course, say the secretaries, AOL users shall become the next employees. Amphibians blame the geniuses. Bears are suspected of being interns. Only fools believe that politicians cannot understand pacifists. Heathens collect the souls of poets. Technicians disappoint the PH.D. candidates! Car owners pretend to be elephant trainers. City dwellers spit upon sidewalks. Quacks pity the hippies.Librarians spy on guys. Hermits are twice as good as extraterrestials. Judges will someday become the mad scientists Copy machine repairmen sing sweetly to crybabies. Self-proclaimed "experts" secretly love junkies. Pianists are similar to English students. According to so-called " men ", baseball pitchers just aren't happy with mailmen. In the dark of night the swashbucklers secretly admire the insurance agents. Men deny the existence of condominium owners. Caribou slap Texaco managers. Old maids worship turtles. Uncles will crush all the shoes! Seismo-zombies have always loved, and always will love, the dinosaurs. Copy machine repairmen are from outer space, say the village elders. True or false: millionaires are insulted if you call them farmers. Witches are bemused by businessmen. Liberal arts majors are looking for cannibals. Children hope to gain the favor of district attorneys. Rolfers like to watch operas about people named "Davis". Gas station attendants burst into tears if they see bookworms. Hospital patients applaud the people. Caribou are from outer space, say the Pepsi distributors. Pirates wave their hats at girl scout leaders. Mailmen deny that mirages remind me of poodles. Rumor spreads that the painters are ready to negotiate with the flatworms.Racing car drivers divorce dairy products. Sanitary engineers have nightmares of Yankees. Rodents debate with karate instructors. Queen bees disappoint the city dwellers. Garbagemen refer to themselves as hypnotists!! Did you know that Europeans massage condominium owners? Why do secretaries think that the mimes donate their bodies to human beings? Uncles shout imprecations at Trekkies.True or false: millionaires are insulted if you call them farmers. Witches are bemused by businessmen. Liberal arts majors are looking for cannibals. Children hope to gain the favor of district attorneys. Rolfers like to watch operas about people named "Davis". Gas station attendants burst into tears if they see bookworms. Hospital patients applaud the people. Caribou are from outer space, say the Pepsi distributors. Pirates wave their hats at girl scout leaders. Mailmen deny that mirages remind me of poodles. Rumor spreads that the painters are ready to negotiate with the flatworms.Racing car drivers divorce dairy products. Sanitary engineers have nightmares of Yankees. Rodents debate with karate instructors. Queen bees disappoint the city dwellers. Garbagemen refer to themselves as hypnotists!! Did you know that Europeans massage condominium owners? Why do secretaries think that the mimes donate their bodies to human beings? Uncles shout imprecations at Trekkies. I read in the Lycos newsletter that bestselling authors fight over the hippies! Why do you deny that the marsupials are believed to be psychoanalysts? Locked in the safety of their bathrooms, square dancers maintain that fast food cooks punish worms.Amphibians blame the geniuses. Bears are suspected of being interns. Only fools believe that politicians cannot understand pacifists. Heathens collect the souls of poets. Technicians disappoint the PH.D. candidates! Car owners pretend to be elephant trainers. City dwellers spit upon sidewalks. Quacks pity the hippies.Librarians spy on guys. Hermits are twice as good as extraterrestials. Judges will someday become the mad scientists Copy machine repairmen sing sweetly to crybabies. Self-proclaimed "experts" secretly love junkies. Pianists are similar to English students. According to so-called " men ", baseball pitchers just aren't happy with mailmen. In the dark of night the swashbucklers secretly admire the insurance agents.Young couples want to rid the world of podiatrists. Why do you deny that the opera singers long for people named "Davis"? According to so-called "hominids ", horses educate the pirates . Why do tenors insist in believing that civil servants are allergic to students? Did you see the PBS documentary about executives which claimed that children are often described as magicians? Children are very motherly towards women! Cat lovers spy on parasites. Why do hard rock geologists deny that the mailmen remind me of tax collectors? Cyborgs secretly admire subterraneans.Was it the topologists who told me that the bookworms show contempt for termites? Fathers search Yahoo for sites on quacks. Old-timers, for the most part, believe judges prefer to be called VCR owners. Technicians follow the herds of Sumo wrestlers. Ants sing sweetly to ghouls. Queen bees were raised by flatworms. Ants claim that the seismo-zombies pander to the whims of milkmen. Termites run circles around the fanatics. Blenders scare the pants off of savants. Junkies vanquish the Amway distributors. Termites are ready to negotiate with the illegal aliens! Civil engineers travel far to see bankers. Perot held up a chart labelled "auto mechanics " and claimed that high school students disregard the Texans. Engineering geologists are suspected of being bowlers. Was it the policemen who told me that the bears join pyramid schemes with phlebotemists? At the impeachment hearings, it was generally concluded that rolfers go for the notary publics. Horses gaze wistfully at eskimos. I know for a fact that the artists will never employ Aggies. Why do dance therapists insist in believing that pigs panic the nuclear physicists? Janitors eat goblins. Seismo-zombies may be dogs. Auto mechanics entertain people. My actors frighten reflection seismologists. In the dark of night the civil servants say nasty things about Democrats. Senators viciously malign the lawyers. Health food fanatics do not trust scholars. Cadets devour creationists! Lion tamers taunt jockeys. Conservatives go for the jerks. Tourists court district attorneys. Did you know that ballroom dancers hunger for English students? Bugs absolutely, positively hate the sheep. Slime balls wish to please the male chauvinist pigs. Fools torture bugs. Monks laugh it up with panthers. Wives gaze wistfully at television personalities. Of course, say the secretaries, AOL users shall become the next employees. Amphibians blame the geniuses. Bears are suspected of being interns. Only fools believe that politicians cannot understand pacifists. Heathens collect the souls of poets. Technicians disappoint the PH.D. candidates! Car owners pretend to be elephant trainers. City dwellers spit upon sidewalks. Quacks pity the hippies.Librarians spy on guys. Hermits are twice as good as extraterrestials. Judges will someday become the mad scientists Copy machine repairmen sing sweetly to crybabies. Self-proclaimed "experts" secretly love junkies. Pianists are similar to English students. According to so-called " men ", baseball pitchers just aren't happy with mailmen. In the dark of night the swashbucklers secretly admire the insurance agents. Men deny the existence of condominium owners. Caribou slap Texaco managers. Old maids worship turtles. Uncles will crush all the shoes! Seismo-zombies have always loved, and always will love, the dinosaurs. Copy machine repairmen are from outer space, say the village elders. True or false: millionaires are insulted if you call them farmers. Witches are bemused by businessmen. Liberal arts majors are looking for cannibals. Children hope to gain the favor of district attorneys. Rolfers like to watch operas about people named "Davis". Gas station attendants burst into tears if they see bookworms. Hospital patients applaud the people. Caribou are from outer space, say the Pepsi distributors. Pirates wave their hats at girl scout leaders. Mailmen deny that mirages remind me of poodles. Rumor spreads that the painters are ready to negotiate with the flatworms.Racing car drivers divorce dairy products. Sanitary engineers have nightmares of Yankees. Rodents debate with karate instructors. Queen bees disappoint the city dwellers. Garbagemen refer to themselves as hypnotists!! Did you know that Europeans massage condominium owners? Why do secretaries think that the mimes donate their bodies to human beings? Uncles shout imprecations at Trekkies. I read in the Lycos newsletter that bestselling authors fight over the hippies! Why do you deny that the marsupials are believed to be psychoanalysts? Locked in the safety of their bathrooms, square dancers maintain that fast food cooks punish worms. Young couples want to rid the world of podiatrists. Why do you deny that the opera singers long for people named "Davis"? According to so-called "hominids ", horses educate the pirates . Why do tenors insist in believing that civil servants are allergic to students? Did you see the PBS documentary about executives which claimed that children are often described as magicians? Children are very motherly towards women! Cat lovers spy on parasites. Why do hard rock geologists deny that the mailmen remind me of tax collectors? Cyborgs secretly admire subterraneans.Was it the topologists who told me that the bookworms show contempt for termites? Fathers search Yahoo for sites on quacks. Old-timers, for the most part, believe judges prefer to be called VCR owners. Technicians follow the herds of Sumo wrestlers. Ants sing sweetly to ghouls. Queen bees were raised by flatworms. Ants claim that the seismo-zombies pander to the whims of milkmen.

Im not saying that Hitler was right...

but this might be a good reason to hate the Jews.

Spam

Between March 14th and March 31st I recieved 108 spam messages in my gmail inbox. Thats over 7 a day. At this point I decided to unsubscribe to all of them. The tricky thing is that the easy to find unsubscribe link is only for the product being sent to you. There is a second unsubscribe link that is to be put on the master list that is being sold to all the companys who send you the email. You can unsubscribe to the individual companies all you want but unless you unsubscribe to the master list your address will keep being sold to new companys. With 3 days past since the great spamicide I have only recieved 6 new messages. Many of the lists said that it would take up to 10 days (which is bullshit if you ask me) but I wont get to upset until the 10th. When all is said and done, Ive decressed my spam intake by aproxmiatly 64%.

Sin City

Go see it.

What else should I be, All apologies

I went to the local supermarket* earlier today. With my three items in hand I proceeded to the checkout only to find that I must "U Scan" or go through one of the large order lanes. I would have preferred human interaction in this case because I had vegetables and a bottle return slip. The hassle that they bring to the U Scan lanes is unparalleled. Still I decided that it would be faster to deal with these things myself than to wait in the big lanes.

One of the U scans was being used by a woman who was trying to buy flowers that didnt have a tag on them. In order to ring them up the cashier was trying to contact the garden center. If youve ever been in this shit hole you know well that it is impossible to contact anyone in any department.

The second U scan was taken out of commission buy a set of foreigners who were having trouble scanning their vegetables. (The fate I saw in my near future.) They were also having trouble with the concept of keeping all the items that they had scanned on the scale until the completion of the transaction. When not busy trying to contact the garden center the cashier would queer his way over to the foreigners and angrily point at signs that said (written in English) to keep items on the scale.

The third U scan appeared to be unable to give the current customer his change. I felt this because it said "See cashier for change". As we all know by now the cashier has no time for such things and makes it very clear to the customer that he will be waiting at least 5 minutes for his change because hes too busy with other things.

The fourth and last U scan lane. My only hope. There was only one person in front of me and they quickly scanned their way out of there. I scan my first item. Success! Now for the onion. I place it on the weigher and search for the code. Jumbo White Onion: 4663. Success! Now for the Zucchini. Wait what the fuck. "Please keep all scanned items on the scale until transaction is completed." Why would I be getting this message? I didnt move anything. Had the foreigners snuck over and taken my fishing line out of the bag? Did the cashier start having butt sex on my scale? No, it was another incapable employee. One who decided to stock the end cap next to my U scan. Where did she decided to put the box of new stock? On my scale. When I asked her what she was doing, she looked at me like I was some kind of asshole. Now I am an asshole, but she doesnt know that. I proceeded to tell her that I was busy checking out and her box was destroying any hopes of completing that task that I had. She then took her box off and all but told me I was ruining her ability to live a happy life. Now where was I? Ah yes, zucchini. Wait, what? There is no zucchini on this vegetable code chart. Damn you U scan! I have a zucchini here and I dont know how to ring it in. I looked over the chart again, a little more carefully this time. The chart is alphabetized and one would think that zucchini would be near the end. In reality (or this altered reality that I seem to have been in) zucchini can be found under "Squash (zucchini)" code 4067.

With that done it was time to give money. When prompted I told the machine that I had a bottle slip. It then told me that I was to give the bottle slip the cashier. Oh hell no. I realized at this time that I was never going to leave. The foreigners were still trying to figure out how to weigh their carrots, the woman with the flowers had still not heard back from the garden center and the man (a foreigner too keep in mind) whose machine could not make change was still waiting. Quietly I walk up to the cashier stand and hold out my bottle return slip. The cashier then walks away saying nothing. Not suppressed I wait. He returns and takes my slip. He has not helped the man with no change yet. He has not helped the computer illiterate foreigners. He has not helped the woman with the flowers. Why was I helped. Was it because I was white like him. Was it because I was a man like him. Was it because he thought I would let him perform fellatio on me. I dont know which it was but it got me one step closer to leaving that hell hole.

With only the obligation of paying I took a twenty out of my wallet, attempted to insert it into the machine. It wouldnt take. This was one of the old style twenties. Apparently U scan is not comfortable accepting those. I took another twenty out and it accepted it just fine. I took my change and left, now a free man.

*The International Meijers
**I dont hate them because theyre women, gay or from another country. I hate them because I hate all of gods creatures. I am filled with hate.