Immigration Policy

After Senior Obama has completed his 8 years in 2016 Ill be old enough to run for President. I wont be a Democrat or Republican. I plan to run for president under the newly formed "Beard" party. Most likely youll have to right me in but nobody said change was easy.

Second on my agenda (second only to the abolition of apostrophes) will be addressing this whole immigration problem that seems to be so popular right now. The first thing Ill do is take all our troops and boats and guns and other things that kill people that are scattered all around the world and bring them home. They will then protect our borders. By borders I dont just mean an imaginary line across a piece of land. I mean the ports, the harbors, the airports and anywhere that a foreigner can get into the country.

Anyone who wants to enter (or leave for that matter) must have some general biometric info on file and if they do and are considered a good guy they may enter and exit freely. If theyre a terrorist they have to leave.

I also intend to make our imaginary line borders a lot easier to protect. All told we have over 12,000 kilometers (#3 on the agenda is getting on with the metric system.) of land borders, nearly 3/4 of which is with those Hockey lovers to the North. I intend for us to only have one land border and its only going to be about 80 kilometers long. You may already know it as the Panama Canal. In other words, were uniting with everything from the big ditch north.

So, if you live in Mexico now and would like to be in the same country as Arizona, California or Texas, do your part to elect me president in 2016. I promise a new nation that I will call North America and there you will be free to walk through the desert as you see fit.