Somebody Told Me, This is the Place, Where Everythings Better, Everythings Safe

I didnt get much sleep last night. There was a very pressing matter keeping me up. Every time Id start to doze off hed ask me that question: "Deal, or no deal?" I dont know Howie! Well have to ask the die.

Ive been tossing around the idea of trying to get on the Deal of No Deal. 2 weeks from yesterday theyre holding open casting calls right here in Phoenix. Alls I gots ta do it go down there and show them how awesome I am. Theyll give me my golden ticket and its off to LA for me, my friends and a couple sets of lucky die. Unfortunately, Phoenix is crazy big so theres going to be mad people going to this thing and only the best of the best will be picked. You gots to have a gimmick. They dont just let any Joe Blow off the street on. Heres my plan:

Step 1: Kiss ass.
In step one I tell them how much I love the NBC. How, with the exception of LOST, every show I watch is on NBC. Then I tell them how great Howie is and how hes the perfect host for this show (because lets face it he is).

Step 2: Gain the Pity Vote
Ill start by telling them how Jaime and I got married so young and we didnt have any money so we didnt get a fancy honey moon. Then Ill go on about how we are in major debt and how Jaimes been in school and how we moved across the country just so she could get a teaching job. (Or did we move to go on Deal or No Deal???)

Step 3: The Gimic
Ill be dressed in my Choose Your Weapon tshirt and cargo pants. Ill choose case 20 as my own. This is because when your roll a 20 on an attack its a critical hit. My first 6 cases will be 21-26. Once I have only numbers 1-19 standing Ill ask if I can have #6 stand to the left of #4 down in the front and the rest of the girls stand behind them. Ill have my best sets of die with me and the die will do the picking. The next 5 cases will be determined by d20 rolls. If I roll a 20, 6 or 4 itll be a reroll. (It will have likely hit the thing.) The next 4 will be 2 d12s and 2 d10s. Since it will be very unlikely that only the low numbers will be left, the lowest number will be a roll of 1 and the highest number will be the highest roll possible. This will continue until the banker has made a worthy offer.