The worst thing about being a waitress is that you have to be nice. You HAVE TO. Well I almost went off on a customer Saturday night. What could cause a mild mannered individual like me to be filled with rage nearly to the point of no return? (No return to my job because they would fire my ass that is.) Well let me tell you…
Im assuming all of you know what Christians are. Most of you know them, some of you are them. 1 or 2 of us are married to them. Generally speaking they are a good group of people. In my opinion they only have 2 major flaws. 1: Many of them are hypocrites. 2: They feel obligated to indoctrinate everyone they meet. Yes I know these are generalizations and dont fit everyone in the group. What were going to be looking at here is #2.
I was waiting on a table Saturday night. We were getting along smashingly. The husband kept making jokes at my expense (Can I get you anything else? Yeah, how about a winning lottery ticket? Or how about this one… How does everything taste tonight? Horrible! … Oh really? What seems to be the problem? … Im just kidding! Heh heh heh.) and I kept hitting on his wife. When they seemed to be done I brought the bill out and explained that I could take it up whenever they were ready. (We didnt order the bill! Heh heh heh.) Later I came back and he was getting the money together so I asked if he was ready for me to take it up. He told me that it was all set and handed me the money. Whats this? It appears that I have been solicited. The money is neatly slipped into a pamphlet that has a picture of a Hummer on it. Who in their right mind would ever think a waitress could afford a Hummer. (Especially if they only tip 8%. GRRRR) Oh wait! This whole thing is just telling me how Im a sinner and going to hell. FUCK YOU! Who the hell do you think you are. Im not going to hell. Maybe in your world of judging and hypocrisy I am but I know Ill be with god when my days are done. Fuming I walked back to the table. Fortunately I had a moment of clarity just as I approached it and simply grabbed some dirty dishes. Whats worse is this isnt the first time this has happened and I know it wont be the last.
6 comments:
very creative blog title.. And I understand your comments regarding being evangelized by your patrons who are lousey tippers no less. I am a believer in God, but saw something interesting the other day which I agreed with... "I have no problem with God, its his fan club I don't like.."
what was the pamphlet about? find jesus get a free hummer?
i can't believe those "vehicles" even exist in today's society. the fact that there are enough idiot people buying them to warrant keeping them on the market astonishes me.
as far as christianity is concerned... god is love. the rest of it is rather insignificant if you really think about it. everyone always asks "what would jesus do?" but very few ever do what jesus did. it's not hard. unfortunately, most people can't stop being selfish for even ten seconds.
then again, maybe she's born with it. maybe it's maybelline.
Give god the first portion of your income and you will be fine
Chrisitans should not be aloowed to eat out. I got one of those pamphlets about three weeks ago. I am going to print up my own atheist papmhlets and hand those out. Then I will get to see the uncomfortable look in their eyes as they mumble thanks and shove it in their pockets. Chritianity=cult.
What's up with the Jew? Wants everyone to tithe their income. Jew!
Oh, hey...did I mention how much I hate DND players? They are such losers because they all dress up and sit around a fire sacraficing virgins and small animals...after that they all dance around naked and argue about how much experience they should be awarded. I know these are all generalizations, but I don't care...besides all these faults, they're generally an okay group of people I guess. Oh yeah, and did I also mention the other day at work when this real bitch came in and started making fun of everyone so I got back at her by hitting on her boyfriend all night? Yeah...that was awesome.
Oh yeah...and stupid people should not be "aloowed" to voice their opinions.
vrblpollution=verbal diarrhea
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